


You Are My Sunshine

by Nancy_Jean



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3785230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nancy_Jean/pseuds/Nancy_Jean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically follows Jean and Marco throughout their relationship through the song "You Are My Sunshine."</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are My Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Because I needed to write something feels-y at some point or another.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc2jsjnt-HY  
> This is good to listen to while reading it.  
> Enjoy.

_You are my sunshine_

It was a strange sound to wake up to in the middle of the night. Usually the barracks were quiet at night, the dozens of teenagers asleep by now.  
But Jean woke up and heard it, no matter how much he told himself to just ignore it and go back to sleep. He rolled over, groaning and the noise stopped abruptly. His eyes quickly adjusted to the dark and he saw the person in the bunk accross from him moving around.  
“Marco?” He whispered, his voice groggy with sleep.  
Silence.  
“Was that you?” He tried again. “Singing, I mean.”  
“…Did I wake you?” The reply came quietly and sounded a little hesitant.  
“Nah. But what were you singing?” Marco then rolled over to face the other boy.  
“A song that my mother used to sing to me,” he began. “When I woukd wake up from nightmares.”  
“Mmph,” Jean could feel himself slipping back into sleep. “You’ll hafta….sing it ta me s'mtime,”  
There was silence for a while, and as Jean’s eyelids slid closed slowly, he heard a small, quiet, whispered “okay.”  
Then he was asleep.

_My only sunshine_

Everone hated summer at the camp. The heat was unbearable when you weren’t even doing anything. No one could imagine actually trying to train. And the generals were too hot to even try and instruct, so the kids had a few days off while the heat wave passed.   
Just a few hundred yards away from the border of the camp, there was a little hill with a few medium sized trees dotting it. Jean and Marco sat underneath one, hidden away by one of the larger ones, sheltered from the heat of the summer.  
They were just sitting and talking when Jean remembered.  
“Oh hey!” He said, eyes going wide. “You need to sing to me!”  
“W-w-what!?!” Marco was surprised by the sudden command.  
“Rememberrrr,” Jean sat up against the tree trunk, and Marco followed his lead. “A few months ago, I woke up in the middle of the night and heard you singing some song that your mother used to sing to you when you were little. And you said you would sing it to me.” Jean looked at him smugly, like hed just said something super smart.  
Marco blushed and stuttered.  
“O-oh, w-well I don’t really th-think right now…..”  
“Come on,” Jean laughed. “No ones around. And its not like I’m gonna laugh at you. I have a pretty shit voice , and its kinda hard to be worse than me.” He smiled at Marco. Marco smiked back nervously.  
“Fine just… just dont.. laugh.”  
“Come on,” Jean rolled his eyes.  
Marco cleared his throat and took a few deep breaths. Jean was patient with him. He knew how hard it could be to do that kind of thing in front of people.  
But then, Marco actually started singing.  
“You are my sunshine…..”  
Jean’s jaw dropped a litttle bit. Marco was quiet, but his voice was still breath taking.  
“Louder,” Jean urged.  
Marco stuttered, but he continued, louder, and Jean relished in the sound.

_You make me happy_

Jean’s heart stopped. His breath hitched. His mouth dropped. He stared at the freckled boy in front of him. Marco glanced away from him, nervously averting his gaze from one place to another.  
“I-I’m sorry,” Marco mumbled. “I should go-” he went to stand up, but Jean reached out and grabbed his sleeve. Marco turned around to face Jean, small tears forming at the corners of his eyes. “I shouldn’t have-”  
Jean stood up and leaned close to Marco’s face.  
“Don’t… don’t apologize.” He leaned forward more, to where he was barely touching Marco’s lips with his own. Marco nodded and the gap closed.  
“Don’t apologize,” Jean repeated. “Because I love you too.”

_When skies are gray_

Jean walked along side the other soldiers. Rain started pouring down, but no one seems to care. Somehwere in the crowd of teenagers, someone started screaming.  
“WHERE IS SHE!?” He yelled. Other kids were trying to calm him down but he just started sobbing and yelling more. “MY SISTER WHERE IS SHE?”  
“You there!” A commander yelled. “Calm down or leave!”   
“I DONT CARE!” He yelled. A fight broke out between the boy and the adult soldier, but everyone just kept walking. Everyone glanced at them, but did nothing. Jean watched as he walked past them. The boy was on his knees, his hands fisted in his hair, rain and tears running down his face. He kinda looked like…. Marco..?  
It wasn’t Marco, but it fueled Jean’s memory.  
“Marco?” He whispered. “Shit. Marco!”  
“Over here!” A cheery voice said beside him. He looked to the source and Marco was there, waving at him, a smile on his face.  
“Oh thank god,” Jean whispered.  
Jean made his way through the crowd to his boyfriend. He wrapped his arms tightly and protectively around the freckled boy. Marco whimpered slightly and Jean looked worriedly at him.  
“I just twisted my ankle,” he smiled. “Don’t worry.”  
Jean looked at Marco’s smiling face. His lit up eyes. His slightly rosy cheeks.  
“God I love you,”

_You’ll never know dear, how much i love you_

Marco was nervous. Like, really nervous. He’d never really done this before. Sure, he’d gotten close, but it never went very far. And anyway, they weren't supposed to be doing this here anyway. They weren't even supposed to be dating in the first place. There were strict rules at the camp that under any circumstances, they were not supposed to engage in any romantic or sexual activities while on camp grounds. The fact that they were bending rules and could very well be caught and kicked out didn't help Marco's nervousness of the situation.  
Jean stared lovingly at the freckled boy beneath him. He could tell he was nervous.  
“You know,” he said, leaning down so his nose was touching Marco’s. “We don’t have to do this.” His breathing was heavy from kissing Marco mere seconds before.  
“I want to,” Marco said, determination covering his features. It was cute, really.  
"Okay," Jean rubbed his nose against Marco's gently. "But if you want me to stop, just tell me, okay?"  
Somehow, despite how vocal Marco seemed to be, they didn't get caught. And they spent the whole night together.

_Please don't take_

 

Jean couldn't believe the sight that was sitting in front of him. It couldn't be. It was an allusion. He was being tricked. Obviously. This couldn't  _actually_ be happening, right?  _Right!?_  
He dropped to his knees in front of Marco who was sat very neatly against the wall of a house. It was a sick joke. Someone had to be messing with him.  
Tears began to rush down his face as the cold reality of the situation smacked him upside the head. Marco was... was... he was  _dead_. He was actually dead. And it wasn't a pretty sight. Half of his face had been torn-or bitten-off and his head flopped to the side that still remained. His ribs were gruesomely exposed and his legs were spread in front of him.  
And his face.  _His face_.  
Jean wouldn't say he looked peaceful at all. He looked...  _sad_. His remaining eye was cast downward and his mouth hung open, revealing his teeth in a frown. Shadows covered his face in an almost grim manner. It was depressing.  
Connie walked up behind Jean and put a hand on his shoulder, but Jean barely registered it. He couldn't look away but he didn't want to see.  
He began to blame himself. He shouldn't have let Marco go on his own. He should have followed him and then maybe he could have protected him. Maybe it could have been him instead of Marco and Marco could continue living his life.  
Oh god. Jean realized Marco wouldn't get to finish living his life. This wasn't only about Jean being alone... Marco was only a teenager. He wouldn't get to... he wouldn't get to do  _anything_ and that's what really drove Jean mad. Not loneliness. Not grief or guilt. But the  _pity_. He felt so bad that Marco didn't get to experience anything, and it drove him up the walls.

_My sunshine_

Swarms of people crowded the streets and ran towards the walls. Jean watched from atop one as people ran towards and under him, flooding outside of the walls. They'd just received conformation from Levi and Erwin that they had, in fact, finally killed the last wondering titan. It took weeks of searching the land around the walls in hundreds of miles of radius to determine that they were safe. And now that they were people planned to explore outside the walls. Some were going to be stubborn and stay inside the walls, chiming at other people that the Corps was wrong and they'd be crawling back in no time out of fear.  
But no one paid any mind to them as the left the districts to party. They were all finally safe. They could relax and rest and not have to worry about it anymore. They were happy and excited and curious and they couldn't wait.  
As Jean watched over the people from on top of the wall, he smiled. He only wished Marco could see this. He knew he would be proud. He would be so proud. And he would be so excited to go home and see his mom again after years of fighting. Jean shivered.  
He only wished Marco could see this.

_Away_

It was 17 years after humanity won and they had regained their own territory over the titans. The walls had been left and almost everyone spread out across the land. Cities had developed and people had started living more freely. Laws that had existed within the walls were diminished and new ones were built. Life was changing rapidly in front of Jean's eyes and he couldn't manage to keep up with it.  
He still kept contact with the Corps to this day, but he hadn't heard from anyone in a while. He figured they'd all run off and started families in their own cities and forgotten all about the nightmare that had been their lives almost two decades ago. Since he hadn't heard from anyone in a while, he decided he might take a trip down memory lane, just for the hell of it.  
It took him a couple of weeks to get ready, emotionally and physically, but he finally got packed, pulled together some money, rallied up a horse and started heading south.  
A few weeks later, Jean arrived at what used to be the entrance of Shinganshina District. As he walked through, memories flared up and he had to stop walking for a second to get a grip on himself. He took a deep breath and continued on the streets. They were so empty and barren that it almost seemed ghostly.  
And he figured it kind of was. He felt like the ghosts of people killed by titans walked the streets here, angry at the way they had died, angry at the people who let them die. It was almost too much fro Jean to handle and he almost walked back to his horse, but he remembered he'd let it free, so he kept walking.  
Somehow, he remembered how to get to the tops of the walls and he made his way up. He looked out, barely being able to see the outline of a town that rested hundreds of miles away from him. He looked down.  
He remembered how he and Marco used to spend wall cleaning duty hanging out and watching the people move about beneath them. They always joked about tossing something off the edge, but never did because Marco was scared they might hurt someone.  
Jean chuckled darkly. His youth seemed so far away from him now, so far he could barely see it any more. He was only in his early 30's, but he still felt like such an old man, stuck in the past despite not really being able to recall it as well as he used to be.  
He glanced down at the ground beneath him again. He felt his feet move him closer to the edge. His stomach dropped.  
 _Did he really want to do this?_  
He stopped. His toes were just barely over the corner of the wall. Maybe... maybe he could see Marco again. His feet moved him forward some more. Maybe he could be happy again.  
The last thing Jean remembers is the green rushing at his face and the cold air brushing his skin, and he remembered Marco's smiling face, and he was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> On a scale from one to ten how much did it hurt.  
> I actually wrote this like a year and half ago but when I went to copy and past it into tumblr I accidentally deLETED IT AND LOST THE ENTIRE THING AND HAD TO REWRITE IT FROM SCRATCH AFTER SPENDING 2 AND HALF HOURS AFTER MID NIGHT ON IT.  
> I actually started rewriting it months ago, but only finished it just now. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
